Here is another article that I'm going to plagiarize. It mocks all the announcers who love to showcase what a superior human being Tim Tebow. Tebow took two whole weeks out of his summer to go to Africa and do missoinary/humanitarian work with his church last summer. He left football behind and gave up his cushy life in the USA to rough it in Africa for 14 days. Now I don't know about you, but I can't imagine any 19-20 year old kid willing to take 1 weekend, let alone 2 whole weeks, out of his summer to do something selfless. We're not talking just the weekdays, but two complete weeks! Simply unbelievable.
MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national
championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim
Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend
directly into heaven.
Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24-
hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman
winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the
podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters
fainted.
"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with
cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal
him."
"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University
of Florida, winning two national championships, has been a great
honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to
clear that up right now," he continued.
"Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room.
"After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at
the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow
announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a
blinding white light and vanished.
In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long
tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will
feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood),
re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air
personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most
Tebow-like" person in America.
"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said
a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming
down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on
earth."
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2 comments:
The title about made me die alone. Funniest thing I have read in a while. Or should that be most funny
I think I decided that yes, Tebow is a decent enough kid, but the reason I hate him is the media slurping anything he does, as illustrated in this awesome article. I mean, the Tebow kool-aid is mixed with some sort of cocktail of cocaine, nicotine, and heroin, and every single sports guy in America has bypassed drinking it and is taking it intravenously.
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